This blog is inspired by my visit to Narita temple last weekend. I saw this beautiful streams of water flowing in the park around the temple. There was a bench and I sat down, closed my eyes and listening to the sound of water. It was music to my soul.
Then the word "stream" came to my mind, I didn't really know what it meant until I got the inspiration to write the blog during my surf. I usually get an idea and sometimes I need to wait until the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle come together to get the full picture.
Let me start by saying this is a very personal reflection and observation I made about myself. I have decided to share as it has helped me to be who I am today.
Imagine yourself you are swimming in a river, which direction will you choose?
Will you swim with the direction of the river or will you choose the opposite direction which makes it harder to move forward with all the water that comes your way?
I am relating this river to my life, in which I am choosing to go with the flow of the river. It's like during surfing when a wave is gently lifting you and you get the momentum to take off and ride the wave. You are going towards the direction of the wave, which is towards the beach.
In many occasions in my life I was trying to "fit in" , which meant many times that I had to take the energy to swim against the stream. When I say trying to "fit in", it meant that I had to pretend to be somebody that I am not. During my life there has been many occasions of bullying and not feeling accepted by my surrounding. Actually I never really understood the reason. It really left me with low confidence and I always felt something must be wrong with me. But what was wrong with me was never clear to me, so I have decided to be like a chameleon to fit in. A chameleon is an animal who can automatically change colors based on its surroundings to secure its safety and not being seen by predators.
With my personal development and studying coaching, I got to know more about my own personality and what my "true colors" are. A chameleon can change its colors based on its surroundings but I have decided to go on a exploration to find what are the true colors that are and represent Sabine. My colors are bright and shiny, for those of you who know me personally can imagine. There are different colors, so I cannot name them all for you. I love to empower people and I have lots of positive and loving energy to support people in their coaching process. In this occasion, I would like to share my gratefulness to my mom and dad here (they are reading my blog and translate it into German), it's thanks to their love and belief in me that formed my core personality and all the support to let me have my experiences in Japan. Even though I am far away, I really hope I always make you proud and I love you very much.
I am still struggling sometimes to recognize that it's okay to be me and that people's reaction about me has been triggered by something in their own personality. We are all mirrors and when we are having a reaction about someone, please don't judge the other person but look inside what has happened in yourself to feel that way. For example when you are jealous about someone, then maybe you can reflect and ask yourself the following questions: What is that the person is having, do you wish to have? What makes this important for you? What can you do to have the same thing/experience? Rather than having a negative touch feeling, you can take actions and make a plan to make what you don't have your reality.
When I am fitting in and being the chameleon it feels like swimming up the stream and it actually takes more energy, because I am acting based on people's reaction towards me. And as you imagine different people have different opinions or reactions towards you. Please remember we are not everyone's cup of tea. The people who wants to be around you, they will accept you for who you are and wish for your success and happiness genuinely.
So rather than fitting in, I want to go in the same direction as the stream. My life is in flow and I am shining my colors, being me. If someone is having a reaction, I am not taking it personally or thinking something is wrong with me, which I used to think. Today I realized that when I got bullied, I must have actually shared my true colors, but people showed me a reaction and based on that I thought I have to change myself by being someone else. When I think about it now, I feel more at peace and those experiences formed me who I am today. I have learned so much more about myself and I can share those experiences in my blog with you all too. So it really comes to a choice, be yourself in all stages of your life (work, private, among family, friends) and shine your true colors every day, swimming with the stream being you. It gives me so much more energy and if there are reactions from people I know how to handle them. I wouldn't trade to be a chameleon anymore, I will choose which colors to wear in different situations. So in that sense I am still like a chameleon, but consciously aware of my own colors and not adjusting to choose a color to satisfy a person's reaction towards me. Please try this out and you will feel more energetic and alive, because its all you. You are going with the stream! Hope you can relate to my own personal story and I hope it gives you some inspiration. Please reach out to me, if you feel you would like to share your own personal story/stories. My mail address is Schoellhornsabine@gmail.com With love & light, Sabine
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