Lately I had an experience that made me feel being carried away. The flow of life suddenly wasn't a calm stream anymore but suddenly changed into this rising current. The changes happened so fast and there were no past experiences I could rely on that would help me to maneuver this situation. Suddenly your world is upside down and can't see the forests for the trees.
Has this kind of situation happened to you too?
It is a challenge especially if it is an unknown situation and our thoughts and emotions can become very noisy trying to come up with solutions to an experience we have never had before. At this point, I have decided to go through my tool box to think about what is supportive for me. My tool box includes skills and techniques that I have learned and used over the years through my coaching and mentoring. I would like to share what I have done to calm the waters.
First and upmost, I am gentle and kind with myself. Never ever blame or put yourself down. It is the root cause for self-blame and non-accepting of self. Rather thinking of what do I lack, I shift the focus on what do I do/have available that is already within me. It shifts the perspective you are in. Another big factor that helped me is to not fight the current I am in, its exhausting. I told myself I accept where I am knowing it won't last forever.
I made a conscious choice not judging myself at all. It's similar like choosing your outfits for the day based on the weather conditions. I chose acceptance of where I am at over judgement.
This helped me to feel power over my situation. As mentioned in the intro, I felt carried away by the sudden change finding myself drifting away with the current. The power I gained means, that I shifted my consciousness from being in a flow (current) to be the flow leading me back to shore. It made this choice to actively look at the circumstance of the situation I am in.
With my shifted awareness I could observe what was going on. Yes I am in the current and I feel scared and anxious, I accept and won't fight where I am at, I have the power to turn this situation around and get back to shore. I started forming a belief that I know exactly what is necessary to do to explore my options. It is amazing what we already have within us, it just needs to shine a light on the skills and attributes that we have gained throughout different experiences.
This is the power of observation, looking at the situation from different perspectives and angles without any self blame. I am where I am at, what can I do/how would I like to feel to get me into a more desirable space? In coaching we use powerful questions to support the clients to explore more deeply about themselves. During my observations, I asked myself "What is supporting me here?" or "What do I need to see that supports me in this situation"? Don't rush to get to answers, let the question sit with you, feel into it and let the answer come to you. It will take of the pressure to get an answer immediately. In my experience once I have asked the question, I got the answer later within the day, I haven't even thought about the situation at all. The answer has helped me to get away from the current and get back to shore again. It is not about how soon you get there, it creates pressure, but observing the process about how you get into a more desirable state of being.
I believe life isn't a destination but a process in which we make different experiences and learn about ourselves throughout the situation. Learn to observe yourself neutrally throughout your day. Ask yourself powerful questions, observe what answer wants to emerge from within you.
On a site note, I am still processing but I am already in calmer waters, thank you. In the picture you can see how calm the water is and the reflection of what is on the surface.
I wish anyone who is in rough seas right now, can find something from sharing my story that can support yourself. If I can support you, please reach out to me for coaching/mentoring.
Love & Light,
Sabine